HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS
Healthy relationships do not happen by accident. Whether you are talking to your teen about friendships or dating relationships, help them understand that relationships are built on trust, respect, honesty, and a desire for the best for the other person.
Begin talking to your son or daughter early about relationships of all sorts, from friendships to dating relationships.
Talking to your teen about healthy relationships and what they should look like is very important, but it will be more important to model these things for your teen in your own life either through friendships or marriage/dating relationships. Show your teen what a healthy relationship looks like. Teach them what to expect for themselves and how you expect them to treat others.
Be a good role model! Show them:
• Good communication.
• How to treat someone.
• How to speak to someone, both in normal conversation and when you disagree with someone.
• Respect.
• How to touch someone.
• How to give affection without becoming physically intimate.
• How to set boundaries with others.
• How to set boundaries for themselves.
Discuss abusive relationships.
What do they look like? Who is more likely to be abused, men or women? What should they do if they get into an abusive relationship?
• Make sure your teen knows who to talk to if your teen finds him- or herself in an abusive relationship.
• Let your teen know that if he or she is being victimized, that it is not your teen’s fault and that he or she should seek help as soon as possible.
Discuss abstinence and how it can help to develop healthy and happy relationships.
If you want your teen to wait to become sexually active, be clear about your expectations. Help your teen to understand the importance of abstinence and how sex outside of marriage can affect relationships.
• How important is it to build a relationship on friendship?
• What might happen if a relationship is mostly built on physical attraction?
• What could happen if a couple gets too physical too fast?
• How do you think physical intimacy may impact someone emotionally?
Dating Tips:
• Be involved.
• Know the “who, when, where, what, and how often” of your teen’s dating life.
• Set and enforce rules.
• Rules should include curfews, rules about supervision, no dating until a certain age, (add more).
• Encourage your teen to build good friendships.
• Discuss group dating.
• Discuss the importance of building a friendship with the person your teen is dating.
• Discuss the importance of having friends who share similar values.
• If your teen is already in a relationship, get to know your teen’s boyfriend or girlfriend.
• Talk about their family, their friends, the music they listen to, school…anything and everything that can help you get to know them.
• Take your teen out to a movie or out to dinner to show them what is expected from him or her, and what he or she should expect from their date.
• Once again, model the behavior you would like to see in your teen.
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